Having a toddler can be much like owning a dog, at times. Having just finished her own breakfast, lunch,dinner and/or snack she enquires as to the availability of Mummy’s.
‘Peeeeaz, ta!’ gesticulating wildly and flashing her cheekiest grin.
‘No, darling this is Mummy’s.’ and thus begins the tantrum cycle…
Stage 1. Denial
‘Peeeeeeeeeaz! TA!’ whilst taking a mad swipe at my toast crust.
Stage 2. Anger
‘RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWH!’ with a great bellow and a deepening shade of red the infant moves into ‘anger’ the kind that makes their little chubby cheeks shake, followed by some form of violent action from said toddler.
Stage 3. Devastated Grief
Great, heart breaking, sobs rise from the floor where they have buried their face. ‘Mu-mu-mu…waaaaaaaah!’ The basic translation ‘How could you do this to me, I thought you loved me, bitch.’
Stage 4. Defiance
Toddler scrapes her snotty face off the carpet and scales the kitchen sideboard to get her own bread. ‘What’s that you’re saying Mother? No? I think not…’
Stage 5. Distracted Acceptance and/or Victory
You either wrangle their fingers out of the toaster and plonk them in front of Peppa Pig quick enough to cause distraction or you give in and present them with toasty spoils. Lets be honest it will be both, Mummy doesn’t win.
Onwards dear friends!